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  Flash LaCash vs. Gunner Baer  





Flash LaCash: 5'11, 200


New blood Gunner pumps his impressive biceps for the approval of the ring veteran


Flash drops to his knees reeling from a thunderous right hook from the newbie


Flash delights in the screams as he warps the clean-cut bodybuilder's spine


Flash firmly in control as he drags Baer up by his ears for more punishment


When a sign of power is a sign of submission; Gunner flexes as he kneels in a vice headlock



I Can Make You a Man

Maybe it's just the haircut, but something about our new bodybuilder, Gunner Baer, makes us think of he-men of the 1940s, those guys Charles Atlas turned from "chumps" to "champs." By contrast, and again maybe it's just the haircut, bad-ass Flash LaCash, who's been around the BGE block a few times, looks like he just dropped in from a post-apocalyptic near-future, where only the roughest and the toughest have a chance of survival against cyborgs, zombies, neo-Nazis, whatever. We tagged Flash to put Gunner through his paces. With something of a chip on his shoulder, our new he-man claims his is "the best lookin' body you've ever seen."

First item on Flash's agenda is coaxing the new hire into bouncing his pecs. It's a trick Flash admits he himself is not very good at, and he appreciates the recruit's ability to do what is universally acknowledged as a great way to intimidate a would-be opponent ... under most circumstances. Flash inspects Gunner's biceps, back, and waist, sufficiently impressed with the curves and bulges to inquire about his wrestling skills. "Top notch," Baer replies, not skipping a beat. On this point Flash is a skeptic, convinced the guy has spent more time pec-bouncing than grunting against real wrestlers on the mat or in the ring. To prove his point, he dupes Gunner into showing off his back muscles one more time and latches on with a full nelson. Just like that, Gunner falls into Flash's trap.

Flash shoves Gunner into the ring for some nonconsensual muscle flexing. He clutches the chin and jaw and orders Gunner to pop both sets of biceps. Flash targets the arms, using both hands to hammerlock the grimacing jock, then kneads the triceps with his fingers. Locking one arm between his thighs, LaCash pulls Baer's head back by a fistful of his Brylcreemed hair, then chokes him by winding the guy's free arm around the throat. Then Flash backs Gunner into the corner, barking, "Let's see what you got down there in that six pack!" On command, the kid braces himself, tightening his abdominals. A half dozen of Flash's big-gunz gut punches has Gunner sagging against the ropes.

Slamming Baer's body to the center of the ring, LaCash works it with malicious delight, gratifying himself with the sound of his rival's moans as he reaches into the mouth to pry the quivering jaw wide. "Let's see that double TWIN MOTHERFUCKIN' PEAK!" he howls. A whimpering Gunner complies. "I think they're getting bigger," Flash responds, a trace of genuine admiration in the tone of his voice. Then he does what any sane BGE heel would do: He drives his knee into that rock-hard bulge. The fine-detailing Flash gives to tormenting Gunner makes it clear that, though envy may trigger his rage, unadulterated glee in hurting others is what drives this man.

"FUCKIN' TOTAL ANNIHILATION, MOTHERFUCKER!" is Flash's battle cry as abuse piles on top of abuse, with Gunner's mounds of muscle taking center stage. The rookie's hope spots, and there are a few, seem too fleeting to block the juggernaut-like strikes or change the course of the match. In the final quarter, Flash, glimmering with sweat, introduces an exercise stretch cord into the ring, weaponizing it to choke and bind Gunner. The ring thunders as the heel pummels the young bodybuilder, but what most sticks in the mind at the end of the match is the bevy of small but sharp, crisp punishments: the finger torture, the jaw-prizing, the eye-gouging, the ear-mangling, almost literally an assault on the senses.






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Flash LaCash vs. Gunner Baer
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Other Flash LaCash Matches


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Gunner pulls up in agony as Flash works the torturous leglock


Flash tangles up Gunner's thick legs for a finishing figure four leglock


Pre-match warmup as Flash spots for the situps


Gunner flexes submissively as he's bent back over the ropes with a tight chinlock variation


Gunner's thick, luscious body bent painfully in an over the knee backbreaker


Gunner flexes to outlast the impending leg nelson




Gunner Baer: 5'11, 220


Gunner and Flash engage in a flex-off before they lockup in the ring


The boy-next-door visage gets raked as Flash arches to escape the bearhug


Flash sets about destroying Baer's massive pecs with a modified ab-stretch, pec claw combo


Flash employs the resistance bands in his breakdown of the body beautifully


Why ring props are a bad idea: Gunner wasted and crushed, bound with his own resistance bands


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