Kirk Donahue: 5'10, 170 lbs Cody thows up a single bicep flex as he grinds the mustachioed heel into the ring with an armbar Nearly snapping in half, Cody is driven back into the ropes as a shoulder plows through his gut With his trunks pulled down, an exposed Cody pins his arching opponent to the mats With a disrespectful hand to the face, Cody corners Kirk for a round of turnbuckle torture Dropping to his knees, Cody gasps desperately for air whilst he's bring sleepered out
"This Is Kirk Donahue's Ring!" (But Which Kirk?)
Brace yourself for an edgy and exciting contest. Two young, very eccentric wrestlers, both somewhere off the heel-babyface scale, face off in one of BGE's legendary fight spaces. In the past year, Kirk Donahue has advanced strikingly as a ring presence, in behavior sometimes through-the-looking-glass heel-like, and with the elocution and mustache of a sideshow barker, circa 1890. Other times the pained hipster babyface of Jobberpaloozer 16 being taken apart whisker by whisker.
Cody Blayde, in his fifth BG East appearance, looks as fresh and sexy as ever, and after only a few seconds of snappy bravado, he and Kirk lock up in the center of the ring. Blayde and his mustachioed opponent have similar builds, but Kirk appears the bigger of the two, easily shoving the longhaired Cody into a corner.
There's something special about pairing rambunctious younger pro fighters in the ring. In this case the limitless private-match energy is amplified by the fact that, away from BGE, both are experienced and highly capable indie wrestlers. In this one-on-one, calculated mind game, Kirk stalls for time, taking a few moments to slick up his mustache in the mirror. It's just enough of a distraction that Cody's guard is lowered, allowing Kirk to boot him in the stomach. A seemingly inviolable headlock puts helpless Blayde in a tight fix for 90-plus seconds, as Donahue mercilessly churns the novice's frenetic brainpan, increasing the pressure each time Cody attempts to break loose.
Kirk shows his experience, remaining in easy control for the first five minutes. Cockily trying the mustache diversion a second time, Cody finally is on to him ... and on him like white on rice. Now it's Kirk's turn to suffer in this private grudge match arena, and its video fans know Kirk can't be surpassed in emotive suffering! The pain doesn't last too long, though, as Kirk strikes back with the reckless fury that he's more recently become known for. This Jekyl and Hyde monster pounds and stomps the happy-go-lucky Cody to his knees and elbows. "This is Kirk Donahue's ring!" he exults, simultaneously putting the kid back in a fast headlock and yanking at his gummy-bear-colored hair.
Cody Blayde begs to differ on whose ring this is. The eager rookie rebounds, face and chest shiny with new sweat. When Kirk scolds him, saying, "I don't think anybody's told you, but the days of pinning Kirk Donahue are over!" Cody retorts, "It's resurrection day, baby!" Cody strikes a pose in front of the mirror and exclaims, "You ain't ready for MEEEEE!" But Blayde's moment's worth of inattention gives Kirk enough time to tackle the upstart and get a two-count. Cody kicks free and gets an ankle lock on Donahue. Then adding trauma to the kneecap, Cody grabs Kirk by the tips of his moustache. Kirk, furious, claws at Cody's eyelids, and the momentarily blinded Cody staggers backwards.
Two can play in the eccentric madman game! The give-and-take dramatic action continues up to the final seconds of the match. If these guys develop any respect for each other as wrestlers, it's well hidden under visible layers of contempt. The wrestlers and the ring are sopping wet with perspiration as the action nears the breaking point! Win or lose, Donahue/Hyde fulfills his aspiration - or avocation? - to be a major badass. Win or lose, Blayde rises above mere novelty-act status to cement his reputation as a man to be reckoned with in the BGE squared circle.
Kirk tries to look less-than-impressed as his fellow combatant shows off his bicep peaks
Snapping the rainbow haired raggedy andy around with ease, Kirk drives him to the mat
Kirk pushes up off the mat, struggling as his legs are trapped and worked by Cody
Cody cries out as he's brought crashing to the mat, his rib cage crushed in Kirk's killer quads
Kirk gets taken right off his feet with a flying dropkick from the skilled pro wrestler
A neck-cranking leg nelson on the mats may prove once and for all that this is Kirk Donahue's ring
Cody Blayde: 6', 185 lbs Kirk struggles and arches trying to fight back as his foe threatens to dislocate his shoulder Cody puts up a self congratulatory bicep flex as he rolls Kirk up with a leg-splitting pin Kirk takes to the not-so-friendly skies with a flying kick to the rainbow-haired pro stud Cody taunts the grounded heel as he cranks his head back with the handlebar mustache Flailing futilely on the mat, Cody finds himself wrapped up, scissored and choked tightly
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